How Grandparents Can Help New Parents Thrive
Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest joys. Watching your child become a parent and supporting their growing family is truly special. I’ve had the privilege of experiencing this four times now, each time bringing a new understanding of how important it is for grandparents to offer both emotional and practical support. As a mother, nurse, wellness coach, and grandmother, I’ve learned the delicate balance of being present without overstepping. From breastfeeding help to providing nourishing meals, emotional care, and fostering healthy habits, grandparents play a vital role in helping new parents thrive during this transformative time.
Defining Your WHY
Defining your “WHY” is essential when supporting new parents. I’ve learned over the years that my WHY has evolved. Initially, I thought I knew exactly how to help—after all, I had raised three kids of my own and spent years as a nurse specializing in maternal and newborn care. But each new grandchild has taught me that every family dynamic is different. In each of my four grandchildren’s lives, I’ve gradually learned to step back when needed and step in when my children ask for support. My WHY is about making sure they can focus on what truly matters—nourishing their newborns and getting the rest they need to stay healthy. This, for me, is part of raising a healthy family and contributing to my children’s lives during such a critical time.
Practical Ways to Support New Parents
Every family is different, and understanding how to support new parents effectively requires clear communication. Discussing important details ahead of time can help ensure everyone is on the same page. Some key questions to consider include:
- Where will grandparents stay?
- How much of the day should they be present?
- What expectations do the new parents have?
- What specific help do grandparents need?
Nutrition
One of my greatest strengths and passions is helping with meal prep for new parents, and ensuring healthy, nourishing snacks and meals are available. I’ve found that making simple, wholesome recipes (in advance if possible), like roasted carrot and red lentil soup, pesto pasta with roasted portobellos and squash, and my Main Muffins, can ease the stress of mealtime. Offering these healthy meals for new parents, alongside fresh fruits, vegetables, and healthy snacks ensures that new parents stay nourished and energized during their busy days.
Emotional Support
Emotional support is a cornerstone of helping new parents. I’ve learned that being present and listening deeply is more effective than offering unsolicited advice. New moms, in particular, are often on a hormonal rollercoaster and facing sleep deprivation. As a grandparent, offering a listening ear, a comforting hug, or simply being a “container” for their emotions can make a huge difference. Instead of sharing your own stories unless asked, focus on being fully present and offering gentle support.
This can be challenging, especially because we may not have had the same kind of emotional support when we were new parents. But I’ve found that simply being there, without an agenda or advice, can provide more comfort than I initially realized. I remember one night when my daughter-in-law was overwhelmed with emotion about her older daughter no longer having the full attention of both parents, in addition to the demands of the newborn. All I did was sit with her, hold her hand, and listen—no words, just quiet presence. It wasn’t about offering solutions; it was about being a calm, supportive space for her to share her feelings. Recognizing that emotional support isn’t about “doing,” but about creating space for new parents to process their emotions, has helped me provide better support to my children.
Organizational Support
In addition to emotional support, organizational help is crucial for new parents. While meeting basic needs like rest and nourishment is key, how those needs are met matters. Simple tasks like assisting with time management, ensuring rest periods, and organizing the home can alleviate significant stress. Through trial and error, I’ve learned that it’s not just about doing chores or preparing meals—it’s about identifying the tasks that will truly make a difference. Although meal prep is important to me, I know I need to strike a balance between how I can help, what their needs are, and how receptive they are. Over the years, my approach has evolved, helping me prioritize their needs over my own initial ideas of what I thought would be most helpful. For example, in the past, I would’ve arrived at their home with a huge load of groceries, going straight to the kitchen to prepare meals and organize the pantry. But I’ve learned that too much kitchen activity can overwhelm my kids. Now, I check in with them to see what’s most helpful in the moment, allowing for more flexibility and respect for their space.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out)
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is a common experience for new parents, especially for new mothers. It’s especially intense when they’re breastfeeding or bonding with the newborn and may feel isolated. I remember that myself–my first child was born five weeks early and because of his premie status, he his neurological system couldn’t handle excessive stimulation. I needed to breastfeed him in quiet, isolated settings for weeks until he grew and matured. I didn’t even have an iPhone then! Be sensitive how constant digital access affects the experience of new parents (we know that Grandparenting in a Digital World is complex!). Recognizing when your presence might add emotional tension rather than alleviate it is important. While you may want to spend time with the older sibling or offer help, being mindful of the emotional needs of the new parents will help you provide the most thoughtful support.
Self-Care for Grandparents
As a grandparent, modeling self-care is essential for supporting your family. By prioritizing your own health, you ensure that you have the energy and stamina to provide meaningful support. I focus on maintaining a whole food plant-based diet and staying active, which allows me to keep up with the demands of being a hands-on grandparent. I also make time for daily walks, stretching, or yoga, and ensure I take regular breaks to recharge. Taking care of myself allows me to be the best version of myself for my family. It’s helpful to identify how to support your self-care needs. Each night before I returned to my hotel room, I checked in with my kids about what our plan for the next day was. This was an opportunity for me to see when I could fit in a good walk and any other activities. One day I even went for a mani/pedi!
Practice Gratitude
Grandparenting is a sacred opportunity, and I’m grateful every day for the chance to contribute to my children’s lives during such an important time. Being able to support new parents, especially since I am Grandparenting from Afar, has deepened my appreciation for the family bond. I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude to my daughters-in-law for allowing me to be part of their journey during such a precious time in their lives. Their willingness to be vulnerable and accept my help has been one of the greatest honors. I want to formally say thank you:
“Thank you for inviting me into your life during this most sacred time, and for allowing me to help you and your family. Your willingness to be vulnerable in my presence is one of the greatest honors you can bestow upon me. I appreciate and value what a wonderful wife you are to my son, and what an amazing mother you are to my granddaughters. I am so grateful for you and I love you. I wish for you blessings of good health, strong family, joy, and contentment.”
Health Coaching for New Grandparents
As a health coach, I understand how challenging it can be for grandparents to balance their own health while supporting new parents. That’s why I offer personalized health coaching for new grandparents who want to stay healthy, energized, and active as they care for their growing families. Whether it’s meal planning, maintaining physical activity, or managing stress, I work with grandparents to develop sustainable habits that will help them be their best selves—for both their families and themselves. If you’re interested in learning more or would like personalized coaching, I’d love to help you build a plan to stay healthy, strong, and energized during this exciting time.
This blog post is dedicated to Cynthia and Steven, the best Bubbe and Zayda two little girls can have!
“I’ve found that simply being there, without an agenda or advice, can provide more comfort than I initially realized. I remember one night when my daughter-in-law was overwhelmed with emotion about her older daughter no longer having the full attention of both parents, in addition to the demands of the newborn. All I did was sit with her, hold her hand, and listen—no words, just quiet presence. It wasn’t about offering solutions; it was about being a calm, supportive space for her to share her feelings. Recognizing that emotional support isn’t about “doing,” but about creating space for new parents to process their emotions…”
Simply beautiful and heart-centered Dvora!
Thank you Teri. Maybe one of these days, I can introduce you to these cuties!